Monday, February 18, 2013

I Told My Cousin Our "Secret"!

So, in my quest to quit smoking, maybe I was a little more open than usual. My cousin and I were texting, and she is also a black sheep of the family. Oddly, my entire family are like black sheep, but some are more black than others.-Yeah, unfair family drama that holds bitterness for a long time.-

So I can trust her in our fellowship of being cast aside. I could trust her before that, but there is even more of a bond now.

Paraphrased Text Chat:
Me: I have been thinking, Grandpa should have spanked Grandma. Wonder if he did. Goodness knows she needed it. So stubborn! Just like Great Grandma....

Cousin: (not texting back fast enough for my comfort)

Me: It could be like 50 Shades of *insert family last name here*

Cousin: BAHAHA, yes, that's priceless. I am still cracking up. 50 Shades!

Me: You know, all the women in our family tend to be really stubborn. My Mom needed someone to chill her out.

Cousin. Yeah, I wonder if Grandpa ever did to Grandma.

Me: This may be TMI, but I ASK *hoh name* to spank me when I get really stressed. It so helps out. Truly. How else do you think I handle stress?

Cousin: *no texts for a minute.* 

Of course I mildly panic about how this could have been taken. Instead, she asks a bunch of questions! :) It really helps you de-stress? You ask for it? It helps your libido? How is that?

I didn't fully go into the whole domestic discipline plan, but did send her a link to a short story on Amazon regarding Domestic Discipline that writes it out in a loving fashion. She loved 50 Shades of Grey (I never read it.) The story I sent her to check out is not to hardcore, has values and true love in the store. Something to ease you into it.

She expressed that her hubby would look at her odd if she asked for it. Course, I would assume after reading 50 Shades a wife could ask her husband to do new things and use that as the reason! Yet, I KNOW when I first told HOH I was very nervous and embarrassed. We are very frank with each other, but somehow asking your HOH to hold you accountable and spank you to solve disputes is a TON different than suggesting something new sexually speaking.

I highlighted for her how all the women in our family have been high stressed, high wired types. We just are. Anxiety runs in the family tree. The women are not chilling, surfer chicks. Actually, I think I'm pretty down to earth and laid back, but I hold in a ton of internal stress and get anxious. We are the worry worts your Papa warned you about.

For the record, I have been working on not worrying.:) Someone told me a couple weeks ago that "Fear is Perverted Faith" and I get it.

If I was an HOH and my wife came to me and said," Hey, you know how you could help me not be a basketcase Chicken Little? Spank me when I get like that," I would love it. Yet I know my HOH was a little skeptic. It seemed opposite of what he heard his whole life, what society says, etc.

The results have spoken for themselves. Our marriage is back on track and our family is moving forward. I find myself more liberated NOW then I did, when I tried to handle everything by myself and kept my walls up.

So I stressed to her
-this was my choice
-it helps me
-I trust HOH fully, otherwise I'd never consent to this.
-we are communicating much better

I will let the amazon story tell the rest of it. I would point her to this blog, but judging that I just bought a new paddle, I don't want to scare the poor girl! LOL

I consider my lil confession a success. Hopefully, it will help her.:) Obviously, I am not trying to convert her, but I feel passionate and happy with my DD marriage!





  1. Very neat that you were able to tell your cousin!! ;)

    1. She took it very well. Being that she seems very high wired and has a lot going on, I wanted to offer it to her. She seems to already submit to her HOH, they just don't know about the whole ttwd thing. It bonded us. *Sometimes a secret does that! LOL*

  2. Congratulations Mixie. I only wish I had the guts to tell anyone I know in real life.


    1. I will only tell someone if I feel REALLY led to. Obviously, many dont need to know, or are not ready to find it out. I feel bad for some of my married friends in huge power struggles right now. I do tell them how I have begun listening to HOH and giving him final say, and being accountable to him. Last fall, HOH and I were not on the same page. Now our marriage is better than ever. I am so thankful we did this.:) Like I say to HOH" a spanking hurts way less than the guilt I used to feel inside." It does help that my HOH is a good guy who tries to always make the best choice for all. If he was more careless, I wouldn't have gone down this road. As you know, both partners have to be set on being better, together.:) At least all of us can talk in cyber space.:)

  3. Wow. That is a conversation that would never, ever fly in my family.

    1. I understand, Joan! For the vast majority of people I know personally, I would never tell. My cousin happens to be more of a friend. She actually is 16 years older than me, and we didn't communicate with each other until 2011. She is kinda removed from the family, and I sought her out. Out of all my girlfriends, she seemed like the only person who would somewhat get it. Very rare situation.