Saturday, July 27, 2013
Does it change our dynamics? Yes. I have to put myself in a positive mindset and it takes more effort to be motivated. Plus, I am not feeling normal sexy right now. *Something about passing out at 10 pm and all the body changes does that.*
However, this pregnancy seems much more romantic and at ease. Less of a need to spend a huge amount of time preparing, and more go with the flow.
I'm in the early part of my second trimester. I have to say, my heart goes out to everyone I know who have fertility and pregnancy obstacles. Seriously. My one friend is trying to finalize an adoption from Russia, which should have been finished right before all the chaos went down on banning adoptions. They just want their baby.
So this post is dedicated to anyone who has faced obstacles in pregnancy, fertility, and the like. My hats off to you and I give you hugs and love. *HUGGGGG right here* *Extra squeeze*
I have to credit the work we have done in the last several months on our marriage that allowed another pregnancy to happen. We really needed to get on the same page and have a mutual vision. There is a higher amount of respect and devotion we have to each other, it's more intentional and focused.
Of course, I would not describe myself as focused right at the moment!:) Time to finish that pile of laundry and vacuum the floor. May I need to make myself a chore list ....
Sunday, July 7, 2013
You know when you just have a feeling something is off with a situation? I guess that sums up my Mom in Laws visit. There was me needing to behave, not getting my nerves up. When MIL is happy, all is great. However, she can pack an intimidating punch when things go South.
Despite our best efforts, things did go south. Apparently, she is having major boyfriend drama and it is pulling her into a tizzy. She shut down completely while here, not speaking and not participating. Of course, as the daughter in law it made me feel like she hated me. I had to remind myself this was just her way of processing things.
She just went home. I have a monster headache from picking up on all the tension one could slice with a knife. Holding all that stress created exhaustion in me. I snapped at HOH a few times. I mean, having someone stay with you who will not even utter a word makes me cringe.
Now to take care of this aftermath headache and make it up to HOH. At least it's over.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
So I was a little grouchy this morning....err major grouchy. I let my stressed side show and HOH warned me that I'm already on final warning. Guess I needed to lose my marbles before company comes over. The fireworks show before the fireworks. Yargh.
Time to make some finishing touches before company comes over. I have already been put on notice not to play on my phone too much when company is over. I try not to. Better keep it away as much as possible!
Now to hide anything that screams embarrassing.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
So this submission thing works grand when I'm not feeling my own inner wheels turning. Just found out I will have my HOH's family staying with us for four days starting tomorrow. Ermagerd.
I like them, love em. Guess my major stickler is I'm kinda the chick that needs moments of privacy. Plus, I feel the pressure of having everything right falls on my shoulders. And I am so imperfect.
So, dropped several hints I will need something tonight to help sooth me for the next four days. Take it easy, Mixie, it's a good thing. I kinda agreed to this thing to make HOH and his family happy, not that I felt good and ready.
Even still, I find myself with a fresh copy of Southern Living plopped on the table in an attempt to seem more domestically inclined than I am. I wonder if other women buy these magazines for that same effect of I have plans to rock this house. Really, I swear I do.
Can I admit something on here? I think I'm a tad lazy. Or distracted. I keep up with the house but would not consider myself an A lister, more like a diamond in the rough. I grew up in a....challenged home with gas station goodies for dinner. This whole thing has been a challenge to learn all by myself. Wow, first world problems.
I have been working on my first spanking romance I hope to release on kindle when it's ready to birth. Not a story of true domestic discipline, elements of it. Being a romance it plays with the concepts rather than marries them. Also, I have read the majority of domestic discipline romances on kindle that are not deemed God awful by reviewers, and I'm kind of getting bored searching for fresh material, so I find myself writing this story.
I find myself just wanting to work on the story, being pulled back into real life as need be. There is a point in writing fiction where the characters become real, you want to keep writing until the whole thing is finished.
I have written before, three almost finished novels. One was Christian based, and while good, I think I tried too hard to stay in the concepts of what would be appropriate for Christian fiction, another is a supernatural thriller and parts got so intense I shelved it, another read as a Nora Roberts attempt.
My biggest hurdle with writing is creating true problems for my characters in novels. I want so bad for their love to blossom, I find it hard to give them real obstacles. Hence, it will need me to stretch myself. I am proud that I'm finally writing again, which was my hope for our new home. To write for the sheer love of doing so, that's my intent.
May you find something that births your passion. It does not need to render money or fame, but something to flicker your soul. :)
Wish me luck to stay grounded the next 4 days!