My Overzealous Flower Garden

Whoops, there it went.

Today I found myself at Lowe's getting flowers and garden stuff. Did I tell HOH? No. Do I love to garden? Yes. A little too much.

I am one of these girls who gets super excited and idealistic, partner that with my sentiment for yesterday and it can be huge.

I remember gardening with my Mom, one of the rare good feelings of childhood. She would be peaceful. I would feel the cool earth between my bare feet, the cold water of the hose. She always had a knack to pick out beautiful flowers beyond my gifts.

This is the first spring she has passed on. The flowers called to me, edging me to take on my role and where Mom's had been. I had to get the annuals, the tomatoes, the herbs, the snap dragons....

So many things in my life died last year. With the grief of her, I think most of my old garden went with it. Now is a new, promising time. A testimony of how God has worked during the darkest times for new life and prosperity. See what I mean about me being all Hallmark like?

I should have gotten less. Now, I feel selfish. I reasoned I would invite more folks over to enjoy the garden, now I feel like I should give a few pieces to my neighbors. Seriously. There is a fella in Brazil trying to build one room shacks for the kids there, and here I am, Miss Flowers everywhere.

So, I don't want my over enthusiasm to sour the garden, but I know my HOH will hold me to the "no surprise shopping sprees" rule. I need him to.He already got very firm and HOH like on the text" I want you to have nice things, but we talked about these surprises."

Plus, I am behind on the business I needed to do today, and just gave myself a lot more to care for. Hope I like gardening this much, HOH will have my bum if the plants get neglected!

I have uploaded a photo of the red ones, as I have a feeling something on me will match it soon.

At least my cat is royally enjoying the catnip.:)

Encourage HOH:)

My HOH only recently began this journey with me, in November. I have done the bulk of the research, etc. To have a wife who is suddenly wanting to submit to you and encouraging you to lead must be a pretty big change. It wasn't like I was a huge diva before this, but I did put other people before our marriage.

Since we began DD in Nov:
I am keeping the budget!
Get his consent before making major purchases, time commitments, etc.
Told several opportunities and folks "No" per my HOH's wishes
Told 3 MLM offers No:)
Keeping the home more organized
My attitude has been better(I think)
Our love life is pretty frequent and I am showing interest:)
I don't keep things so bottled up
Not spending lots of time taking calls when HOH is home
My interest in spending time with him is much improved. I greet him at the door when he comes home, truly excited.

Oh, and I very seldom wear those massive t shirts my Dad sent me to bed.:)

I sent HOH a couple links to encourage his HOH side of things since he hasn't read much on DD, etc. I found a couple pieces I liked on mypersonalthinkingspot.blogspot.com. I know being an HOH is his journey, I just want to keep encouraging him on the fantastic job he is doing. I think most DD couples have these learning curves. I really appreciate when he holds me accountable.

I hope he is just as happy as I am with our night and day change.:)

The Paddle Update

So HOH tried the paddle on me, it lives up to it's name. He likes that it is easy to hold, but was very intimidated to try it. LOL, the right tool for the right job!

I figured out that right now I need maintenance about 2 times a week, somewhere on the weekend and somewhere around Wednesday. That seems to be my pattern for keeping calm and collected. Guess we all get the midweek grumps and need a little more encouragement.

:)

Trash the dress

  I just put my trusty brown dress in the giveaway pile. Really, I should throw it away. It's been a good dress. A casual hipster bridesmaid dress in 2007, countless dates and events, and I wore it to my Mom's funeral. Since then, it is tainted to me. I picked it up and put it in the bag, just feeling the heavy relief when I did.

  It's time for me to clear out the clutter I sink myself in. Why do I keep things that clearly make me unhappy? I looked in my closet and most of my clothes are missing buttons, bleach stained, or have tiny tears. I got rid of about 40 percent until I can replenish the clothes with new threads. My bff said she is sending me a box of her gently loved clothes, so this is great timing.

  I need to focus on a little self love at this point, making room for new blessings and experiences. Holding on to the pain is comforting in some ways, but very limiting over all. I think I will focus on this for the next few weeks.:) I love myself much more than I did in the past, and it's time to show that. Better go find my HOH and get some cuddles, I need it after clearing out some old stuff.:)

Sufjan Stevens - The perpetual self, or "What would Saul Alinsky do"

Postman! Give Me My Paddle! HOLY COW!

I was pretty anxious to get the new paddle safe to my house. Intercepting it before my kiddo realizes there is a package, and making sure it does not go to the wrong place(this area is infamous for lost mail!) I can only imagine my paddle ending up in a baseball game with the local troublemakers! (I love most of 'em!) I would so pretend like I didn't know a thing.


So on Wed it said on the tracking site"Delivery Notice Left." Did not see any notice. Checked the mailbox and surrounding area.

Thur:
4pm- Found postal worker. Sweet and nervously asked about package. She gives me another delivery slip and says I can pick it up at post office or have it delivered tomorrow. That would not work, the kiddo is at home and will try to open the box. Hmm.

Moments later-read new delivery note and noticed she wrote it would not be available for pick up until after 8:30 that day. Oh no! Postal worker will read that and not even check for it.

I decide to cram the delivery note in my pocket and just show my I.D.

4:30 p.m. Standing in pick up line, nervously hand I.D. over and explain situation. Get the stink eye. I choose to be sweet and stealth.

The triangle package tube comes to me! I hold it, concealing the importance.

Seconds later- a man comes up behind me and touches the box. In his thick accent he would like that box."You can get it at the front desk," I stammer,"or you can wait and I will bring the empty box to you." Please don't let me unwrap it in front of everyone, good Sir.

He runs to the front desk for new versions of the same box. I leap to the car. What the heck, I open it with my car keys on my lap and tear off the tape. Trying to look around to make sure this is a somewhat private moment.

Holy Cow, this thing is big. Hubby is going to freak. I slap my knee with it, which was pretty silly because it was still in bubble wrap. I eye a tall SUV who has a good view of my little compact, so I decide to slip the paddle in my messenger bag.

*****

Later that night, I show HOH. 

His first words:" Holy cow! Does this thing come with instruction videos?"

He tries to slap his knee and winces.

At least we have something to defend ourselves with in case of an intruder. Wow-za. You gals were not kidding about it being "motivating." I haven't even tried it, and I am motivated. I think even HOH is motivated. LOL. Stay tuned. The paddle is currently sandwiched behind a stack of boxes full of files. You have to work to get it. This is our mission to keep this thing under wraps. Something you can't explain away!

*paddle and photo from www.cane-iac.com.

Yes, we are satisfied with the purchase. It certainly has already brought much excitement and drama to an otherwise quiet week.:)

 

PMS Spanking?

Holy cow, let me tell a bit of truth. When I go into the week before I PMS, it feels awful. I get feelings of stress, worry, angst. It basically takes my inner turmoil and makes it the focus for me. I find myself living in the past, not the present. Dreaming or thinking about family hurt and pain, wanting it to be resolved. Yet I know now is not a good time to try to fix things (don't make big moves when you don't feel at peace.) I also know that the generations of hurt and pain in my family is not all my fault, but it feels like I try to take it on my shoulders.

I remind myself of the classic child whose parents are getting divorced, the child blaming himself. I take this on with the whole family tree. It's not true, so why I do I feel the need to take on that postion?

Really looking forward to my PMS calming down and my mind getting back to the present. Believe me, I am trying. Guess I should really try, as in, not think about it and do something fun. Get out of the house and connect with others.

My HOH has a date for us tomorrow night. Thankfully! He could have spanked me last night, but chose not to. Of course, this morning I think he saw he should have.:) Someone hit the release valve on me!

Anyone else have challenging PMS symptoms? Do you cry or get irritable?

It's not an excuse to act poorly, but I feel it's also hard to feel good or normal during this time.

-Pretty Much Stressed (over what?!) Mixie


I will focus on being thankful the rest of today!:)

Update on My Attitude Adjustment*I was a BRAT*

Okay, so Sunday I was feeling stressed (about doing dishes, of all things.) It was closing in on the 48 hour mark of quitting smoking. Hubby said  "lets what until after lunch to start the dishwasher."

Awe, Hell Naw.

"It's already full! If you wanna try to jam more in there, be my guest! I like my dishes clean and not not crammed in!"

Oh my.Total Jerk tone. I was that nasty wife in that moment. I knew I blew it, I knew I needed to be re-set. I should have told him that I was getting too antsy and needed a moment.

I felt so guilty afterwards. I said I was sorry for being a jerk, and explained why I made that mistake.

When we had private time, he calmly took me back for my spanking. I expressed a need to be re-set, and I am really glad he knew I needed it. Plus, he was a little mad his wife was being such a jerk.

"We are not nasty with each other like that!" He explained while I was over his knee.

My Mom and Dad fought. There was no telling her anything. I loved my Mom, Lord rest her soul. However, she could fight with the best of 'em. I don't want to be a nagging, brat wife. Seriously.

He told me afterwards that he had no issue with spanking me for this offense. When I was in the kitchen, he wanted to bend me over and paddle me right there.

For those of you just getting to know this blog, my HOH has always been a gentle type. He had to be talked into this whole spanking deal. I would consider this urge of his a major success.

72 hours post smoking!

Oh, and if you comment on my blog, if I haven't added your blog to my list-it's because I am usually confused about Blogger. Kindly leave your blog addy in the comments and I will get to reading. Love posting and sharing.

So tomorrow I should get my paddle. Darn President's Day holding up the mail! I wanna see the sucker!:)
 

I Told My Cousin Our "Secret"!

So, in my quest to quit smoking, maybe I was a little more open than usual. My cousin and I were texting, and she is also a black sheep of the family. Oddly, my entire family are like black sheep, but some are more black than others.-Yeah, unfair family drama that holds bitterness for a long time.-

So I can trust her in our fellowship of being cast aside. I could trust her before that, but there is even more of a bond now.


Paraphrased Text Chat:
Me: I have been thinking, Grandpa should have spanked Grandma. Wonder if he did. Goodness knows she needed it. So stubborn! Just like Great Grandma....

Cousin: (not texting back fast enough for my comfort)

Me: It could be like 50 Shades of *insert family last name here*

Cousin: BAHAHA, yes, that's priceless. I am still cracking up. 50 Shades!

Me: You know, all the women in our family tend to be really stubborn. My Mom needed someone to chill her out.

Cousin. Yeah, I wonder if Grandpa ever did to Grandma.

Me: This may be TMI, but I ASK *hoh name* to spank me when I get really stressed. It so helps out. Truly. How else do you think I handle stress?

Cousin: *no texts for a minute.* 

Of course I mildly panic about how this could have been taken. Instead, she asks a bunch of questions! :) It really helps you de-stress? You ask for it? It helps your libido? How is that?

I didn't fully go into the whole domestic discipline plan, but did send her a link to a short story on Amazon regarding Domestic Discipline that writes it out in a loving fashion. She loved 50 Shades of Grey (I never read it.) The story I sent her to check out is not to hardcore, has values and true love in the store. Something to ease you into it.

She expressed that her hubby would look at her odd if she asked for it. Course, I would assume after reading 50 Shades a wife could ask her husband to do new things and use that as the reason! Yet, I KNOW when I first told HOH I was very nervous and embarrassed. We are very frank with each other, but somehow asking your HOH to hold you accountable and spank you to solve disputes is a TON different than suggesting something new sexually speaking.

I highlighted for her how all the women in our family have been high stressed, high wired types. We just are. Anxiety runs in the family tree. The women are not chilling, surfer chicks. Actually, I think I'm pretty down to earth and laid back, but I hold in a ton of internal stress and get anxious. We are the worry worts your Papa warned you about.

For the record, I have been working on not worrying.:) Someone told me a couple weeks ago that "Fear is Perverted Faith" and I get it.

If I was an HOH and my wife came to me and said," Hey, you know how you could help me not be a basketcase Chicken Little? Spank me when I get like that," I would love it. Yet I know my HOH was a little skeptic. It seemed opposite of what he heard his whole life, what society says, etc.

The results have spoken for themselves. Our marriage is back on track and our family is moving forward. I find myself more liberated NOW then I did, when I tried to handle everything by myself and kept my walls up.

So I stressed to her
-this was my choice
-it helps me
-I trust HOH fully, otherwise I'd never consent to this.
-we are communicating much better

I will let the amazon story tell the rest of it. I would point her to this blog, but judging that I just bought a new paddle, I don't want to scare the poor girl! LOL

I consider my lil confession a success. Hopefully, it will help her.:) Obviously, I am not trying to convert her, but I feel passionate and happy with my DD marriage!

 


 

 

Smoke free, attitude full!

I have been doing pretty good with the smoke free thing. Guess I just got snappy when we got home from church. My body and mind is saying" Porch time, porch time, porch time."

I gave away my lighter yesterday.

Will have to think how I can relax and take a quiet moment for myself now that the porch is a danger zone. Too soon for me to go out there, even without ciggys in my possession.

I need a spanking to calm down and take the edge off. Normally I don't snap at HOH but he offered some advice on loading the dishwasher and I was like," If you wanna do the dishes, you can do them." Then I said I was sorry for snapping, and that I am trying really hard to have a good attitude.

 Where is that paddle, LOL?

Look at the Paddle I'm Getting!

Okay, seriously I should not be excited about this. I got a spanking today to warn me not to smoke and it stung like heck. Holy cow. Well, there was no warm up!

HOH is not interested in anything to scary, like the cane. I had some spending money and finally bought the paddle. I spent much time deciding what to get, but finally caved to peer influence. It looks very much like http://lovemyhoh.blogspot.com/'s paddle and I know it's Clint and Chelsea's paddle from www.learningdd.com fame. Okay, I'm not being creepy, I just went with what other folks were using LOL. My indecision about buying a new implement was taking too much time.

Both T and Chelsea have said they dislike it, so I will most likely be eating my enthusiasm very soon. However, I think my rear has "graduated" from our wooden turner "paddle" made of Bamboo. There is no "oh gosh" factor. Course, HOH thinks I am very silly. I also know he has probably been prudent with this arm force.

So here it is, the paddle you have all seen before...but now I will be getting one too!

It looks official. It looks classy. Looks like a gentle husband's trusted paddle. Course, it also looks like I will be curbing my enthusiasm very shortly.

Mixie" Hey, this looks like it would hurt. I'm gonna get it!"

Maybe I am not the brightest. Maybe we will call him "Mr. Motivation Coach."

This item can be found at http://www.cane-iac.com/items/wood-spanking-paddles/srsolidoakpaddle-detail.htm  and the photo is from their site.

Chelsea's post on the implements can be found here http://knowingyourroles.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-spanking-implements-guide-part-1.html?zx=761cde2265b0e60c

Another thing we need to hide when guests come around. This would be very hard to explain away!

Delivered from the Family Tree

The house is quiet. I just did some prayer time. I am listening to Andrea Bocelli's "Time To Say Goodbye". Wow, this song has a whole new meaning for me. As I finish the tasks of my deceased Mom's estate, I have had to go into decades of our family's pain and trials. No clear answer can be found, but it is clear she was in huge distress. I knew it. Yet, going through what is left of a life can give the most intimate show of the pain, I live her feelings as I finish her estate.

Our whole family isn't fully repaired. Yet, I pray everyday and take action where I can. Can't life be like a Hallmark commercial where I give Grandma flowers and we just live in the love of today? The redemption? Sigh. I know I can't solve everyone's problems, but I will do my part.

It was hopeful to see my Mom hung in there for the blessing of my child. Her Grandchild. It seems that her grandchild gave her new rays of hope, to hold onto. For that, my Mom passed naturally and she didn't take her own life.

I do have faith. Faith that God is delivering us day to day as we obey him. Faith that I have been redeemed and can fully love. Faith that God gave me purpose for as long as I breathe.

Tragedy makes a person either become bitter and hopeless, or cling to faith and the hope in this cosmic land. I choose to have faith, God is so good. I do not need to understand all the suffering to have faith that this labor of life has meaning.

None of this could have been an accident. Not the suffering, nor the trials. I have been purified by what God knew I could stand.

I forgive my Mom, and I know she forgives me. From the moment I knew she passed, all of our troubles became water under the bridge. It's kind of like when a baby is born...so pure and perfect. In her passing, my memory of her is reduced to Love and Forgiveness, the way it should be all along.

Happy to announce I have completed 24 hours NOT SMOKING! To God be the glory, for my flesh is weak and I have had my crutches. Lately, it seems I have been able to let them go. No Diet Coke, no ciggs.

I will not let my addictions corrupt my health anymore. My Mom passed from complications of alcohol.

Ahhh, listening to Hey Jude. The second part is the best part. Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah. Love to my Mom. Getting chills right now. Thank you God for bringing me up higher.

Hey Jude (for anyone who has the incline to enjoy it today) :)
http://youtu.be/eDdI7GhZSQA

The Rain Came Down*and Happy News*

Last night was wonderful with my Hubby. We celebrated how much progress we have made in a few short months. Wow, like night and day. Total surrender to him, total love for him.

*I will spare you the details*

I did get my cry on, but it was happy, astonished tears. Just pure love and unity.

So *yay* I got to cry!!! *No spankings were involved. I just was able to let it out, and it was wonderful to cry. It was also raining outside, and we had needed rain. The heavens opened up!

I was greatly encouraged to hear that HOH is closer to considering Baby 2! Needless to say, the progress we have made together is why he is seeing it more of a possibility.

My other neighbor ladies have spouses who want to get them pregnant now, but in our home,it's the opposite. I am being patient (as I can be) because HOH is right. I have always been eager to not time pass us by. HOH understands the logistics and is more cautious. Both are good views to have.

I will be patient and wait. *I have just reminded him in the past not to forget, because it is very important to me.*

To hear that he is coming closer, that we are getting closer to that point...that is amazing news.

-An only child who wants a bigger family :)

Cry, Dang Me!

Man, today I really wish I could cry. These tears are so close to my eyes, but will not release. I have had a tough time crying for awhile. Some years, it has been impossible. My eyes are warm and my lips quiver.

Today is bittersweet for me. On Valentine's Day, my Mom would always send me roses. Now I hear the delivery truck, and I know the roses from her are not coming. It isn't the roses, it's her. I miss her. I miss having a Mom. I miss calling someone who cares. No one cares like Mom.

My Mom and I had a hard relationship. I often said she was like the Simon Cowell of my world, but after I had my daughter she had this empathy for me. We connected.

Last year she died, a cardiac arrest while taking a bath in a friend's home. It was terrible. Cleaning up her estate was terrible. The family reaction was terrible. It was bloody awful. I wish I had a Mom to lean on, but there is no one there. I know several children who don't have Moms, and I was lucky enough to have mine for 26 years.

So I will post this blog and have a good night, with the usual fancy of this holiday. Yet, this would be around the time the truck would come, and it's so quiet. Simply the sound of the air conditioning and the dryer. An echo that life resumes.

I'm in this place in my life, where I just lost my Mom. I desire to have another child and grow our family, and HOH knows we need to complete a few things before this. So this is the patient waiting part, where I miss someone who is gone, and someone who is not even here-but feels so real and missed.

Wow, it sounds like I am really having a pity party, Just getting out some pent up emotion.

Maybe that's why sometimes I just want my HOH to spank me until tears fall free from my eyes, until I can LET GO, like a balloon flying off into the sky.

Lent. I'm giving up...

So HOH *head of household* informed me that he is giving up something for Lent. He is born Catholic and we currently go to a non-denomination Christian Church.

Should I give up something to?

He is giving up BEEF. I didn't let is slip that I almost made him steak this week. Hmm.

So what can I realistically quit?

HOH challenged me to give up bring my cell phone on the porch. Yes, I still have that nasty little smoke habit. A couple puffs every few hours. Course, the cell phone makes this situation much easier. If I gave up taking my cell phone out, I would be bored out there, even though I am usually bored on my cell phone out there.

HOH: "You could actually work on your writing, or something."

Hmm, point taken. I could read the Bible, another book, or write...or just think.

The other thing I was thinking was de-activating my facebook for 40 days. Of course, I kinda want to delete the distraction, but since I have had it since 2007 it feels like a loss to just delete the thing. We all know how many folks we know who would probably never attempt to communicate with us, if not for the ease of facebook.

When I quit twitter last month, folks were actually worried about me! I had about 1000 plus "followers" hahaha, but in reality, twitter is so busy, only about 5 ppl actually communicated with me on a normal basis. I don't miss it.

Course I should ban smoking for lent, but I think I need to be prepared with a plan to fully quit. A little willpower.

So, I am thinking....stop taking the cell phone on the porch.

You realize none of these tech addiction "problems"  existed 20 years ago?

I'd really like to give up taking stuff from certain folks*not talking about HOH* but that is my own little #firstworldproblem

:)

By Wednesday, I need a Spanking.

Hello, Wednesday. I was born on a Wednesday. However, I have always felt like Wednesday was a tough day. Maybe that's why it is termed "Hump Day."

My HOH did gave me my usually Sunday spanking with good results. However, the small paddle left my bum kind of...rough? He just notices the skin on my bottom is a little rough from the spankings. Does anyone else get paddle bottom? He decided he won't spank me until my skin smooths out.

*Looks at clock, looks at skin.* Waits.

So here it is Wednesday and I feel the need to be re-set. My jaw is tensing up, my mind is slightly cluttered, I'm in that "Meh," attitude. Glass of wine or a sound spanking? I need something.

There are 3 offenses he could spank me for, no 4 offenses he could discipline me for RIGHT NOW.
1. The car is not clean. I have left drinks in there and the kiddo left crumbs. That is spankable.

2. I sneaked a DIET COKE yesterday at Subway. *Did not tell him yet, but he does read this blog.*

3. No Candy/cookies in purse. (M and M's spilled at the bottom of it. A huge bag, too.

4. I forgot to return a movie my daughter wanted to rent. Meh movie, that is why I forgot.

Add to that:
Yesterday I went over my budget (for Valentine's Day!) and vowed to return the extra impulse whoops.
I have been spending time playing on my phone when he is home.

In fairness, I have done many good things this week. This list makes me look like a gigantic troublemaker. However, I feel the need to be re-set. *I want my spanking *SOBS*

Anyone else feel the need to be re-set sometimes? For me, it's usually Wednesday, and Sunday. Yet I would say much more during the week *when life feels crazy.* Sunday helps me prepare for the week in general.:)

HOH, please help me with my stressed out midweek attitude.

For the record, I am pretty sure he will not do it on Valentine's Day.*Crosses fingers he can sense I'm a tiny bit in need of some help.

The Pope and HOH taxes

Monday-Pope announces he is leaving. Could this be a publicity stunt, like everytime Cher has retired?

Seriously, kidding. Any Catholics out there, please don't kick me. You are not supposed to anyway.:)

While in the book store yesterday, I actually picked up a HUGE book that was about the Catholic Church. An author saying that this next Pope will be the final pope, a dark Pope. However, I did not read that, because frankly I thought it could wait a few days. I guess not.


A little Catholic Pope Humor. Caution, some language!

Anyway, as you can tell this is a light blog post today.:)


I was driving to church with the Hubby when I made a comment about the exclusive playground in the well groomed neighborhood.

Me:"So you suppose their HOH taxes paid for that?"

Hubs:"Uh, I think you mean HOA taxes. You  pay plenty of HOH taxes to me." :)

A little Head of Household humor. I also realize HOA requires dues, not taxes.

 So I am trying to be a good productive Mixie this week, try to do it without feeling like I need a spanking first. I think I'm addicted to spankings, rather odd. Yet I am building a tough butt and they are not as effective! :/

Hubby did take my phone away for awhile yesterday so I could get some things done without being tempted to google something, text someone, or other silliness. I do enjoy listening to 24/7 Comedy on I Heart Radio (which I play on my cell phone.) I was shocked and pleased that he took it away. When he does things like that, I get happy that he is stepping up, and still shocked!:)

 I looked at where this blog is being viewed and surprised to see it has been read in 12 different countries. Wowzers. I wonder if the people coming are interested in real domestic discipline relationships, or my "cheeky" blogname suggests there is something really good one here.

Oh, and I did show Hubs the blog. He now knows where to find it and read away. Of course I blushed.

The "No Mary Kay" Rule

2 rules are very important in my marriage, (aside from the given No Lying, Cheating, etc)

The "No Mary Kay Rule"

The Do Not Commit Serious Time/Money/Energy without Spouse Consent.

These 2 rules came from my past mistakes. Before DD, I was very prone to doing something behind my HOH's back and begging forgiveness. It included 2 stints in a MLM (multi level marketing) companies. Now, I am not putting down anyone who is successful with MLM but I am clearly not called to do it. I don't like selling, I have a hard time selling to anyone, and I couldn't recruit if I was a Jehovah Witness. Okay, maybe being a tad hard on myself, but not designed for MLM.

Anyway, a business associate of mine recently got into a network marketing company he is stoked about. STOKED. Yesterday on the phone, his girl and him came with classic examples of how easy it was to join, how little risk it is, and how I owed it to my family. I said I had to talk to HOH.

Well, when I came in off the porch from my call, HOH was waiting. "Honey, I heard you talk for the last half hour about this great business opportunity, and if you were to sign up behind my back in any capacity, you would get the discipline of a lifetime." Enter lecture of how this can not be done in any capacity, and my nervous giggles. By my giggles, we both could tell I wasn't taking this seriously. He decided to give me a warning spanking that was pretty intense. It was all over but I told him I still wasn't taking this seriously( just being honest) so he did a more intense round on me. We had talked about this opportunity in the past, so this was not the first occasion.

Yes, I deserved it. This is our most serious NO-NO for a reason, because I can be impulsive and sweet talked easier than him. Plus, I don't really want to get involved, but my people pleasing has always made me more of a yes person.

Now I am going to need to exercise my self control, and remember to honor my HOH. He has NO ISSUES with giving me that reminder last night. For a fella that had to be talked into DD, that was big. "You will wish you never told me about DD
 if you end up signing up behind my back. I'm not even kidding."

I agree with my HOH. I think I'm being silly entertaining the idea. I just hope we have come far enough for me to exercise self control, and honor him.(Reminder to self: I don't want to do this!

Adventures in Grumpy Land

Okay, this week I have been feeling stressed and irked by a few things. A few underlining problems. I have to let it go. I need to get it in my thick head that I am an adult, and my happiness does not depend on others being pleased with me. The people pleaser coming out again. It astonishes me that, I will worry and stress about others being okay with me, when I really should be upset with them. They were the ones who did wrong, and were rude. But I come crawling back as if I am the guilty one, just for peace. Le Sigh.

I think I have had issues having boundaries and being assertive when the time calls for it, because a little part of me has always been afraid of the consequences. I feel like David shaking in my boots in front of Goliath. If I just admired myself instead of putting everyone else on such a high platform, I could be more peaceful.

Just need to work on this: I am an adult, I make the best choices I can for all involved, and have peace with that. Stop giving my power away to everyone,

I worked out today for awhile, to burn off some tension. My HOH helped me last night iron some stress out with a little warning session about being distracted. Procrastination. I find if I am worrying, I have a tendency to put things off. If I just do what I need to do, I worry less

THINK I NEED TO CLEAR MY MIND.:)

For all that is holy, I need to stop checking facebook. Seriously. My obsession to be informed about current happenings in the world leaves me sad. I am not talking about status updates from friends, I am talking more of pages from other folks talking about current war situations, etc. It takes it's toll. While I don't want to bury my head in the sand and pretend this is not happening, there is only so much I can do. Holy smokes, I think too much! No wonder my HOH is so busy with me!

During my prayer time this morning, I prayed to feel peace in my heart today. My mind said" well, don't check facebook."

I talked with my best friend, who has a tad Obsessive Compulsive, that the best thing to help repeating thoughts is to create something positive, to create. That seems to help me.:)

Anyway, wrapping up for now.

My Little Domestic Discipline Adventures Blog

Hello, world! So, here is my little domestic discipline blog. If you don't know what Domestic Discipline is, you can go to www.learningdd.com which will explain if far better than me. Basically, I asked my husband to hold me accountable for my decisions and to live a more peaceful life. Yes, I ask my husband to spank me. You would never guess if you saw us, or him. :) I'd also like to say that this blog is more for like minded folks in this area, or at least the polite but curious. Two consenting adults in this agreement, and it was my idea. And, I am happier than before we began DD. So that is my little disclaimer for those who read this blog.

We have been practicing DD since November of last year, and the results have been fantastic. Before this, I had a hard time hearing his wishes over the distractions over this world. It's not like I was trying to be a "bad" spouse, but our communication was very limited. No out right fighting, but more so silent issues building up.

My hubby is a very nice guy, period. That's why I love him. I have never met someone so loyal, nice, or level headed....and that is why I was attracted to him. However, I like when he asserts his husband role over me, stopping me from my constant battles with distractions and people pleasing. I am the type to worry too much about outside folks, and pleasing everyone. For the sake of our marriage, I really needed to be delivered from that.

Myself? Most would say I am a sweetie, try to be friendly with everyone, try to do my best to do right day to day. For those who really know me, I have a sassy sense of humor, a smartass. I also am deeply interested in freedom of the people, not a fan of red tape.

This morning I needed a spanking and got one. I woke up worried as heck about things I can't do anything about today. My mind sometimes start worrying before I get out of bed. Chicken Little syndrome. When I get stressed out my jaw tightens. Guess you could say I am wired to get stressed a little bit easier.

So, my hubby thankfully took me into the closet and gave my bottom a few paddles to calm myself and relax. Whew. Needed that.

 I recently heard about Role Affirmations, and am thinking that could be a good thing. Gonna talk to the hubby about that. Now I better get something done around here, it's almost 1 and I haven't done a darned thing today. Except writing this.