Saturday, March 16, 2013

Submissive and ...Mindless?

So HOH and I have not had time to maintain anything, LOL. I have been pretty good. Nothing huge to write about besides the normal "shouldn't have gone fast food, should have been nicer, etc. However, yesterday I did get a bare hand reminder uhhh... punishment spanking for two things.

1. Not spending enough time with HOH...I spent a little too much time chilling out instead of spending time with him. Every night this week has been a late one, so I thought making love was off the table. Guess he still had the energy at after 11pm-ish.

2. Playing on the phone while visiting with his family. I love his family, the guys were just on their Ipad and their laptops, so I was just scrolling my phone in the midst of conversation. However, HOH has talked about it before with me so this led to my ...surprise discipline. I was actually thankful he had the energy to do so, because it's been awhile. After my health scare earlier this month, I think it made us more timid period for a few days, then life took over.:)

My relative in law is a single, older guy. He is looking for the right girl, and  he made mention of it earlier this week on this fb status.

"The perfect girl for me is *traits I can't remember*, submissive, and mindless!"

He prepared for others to confront his tongue and cheek status, but it got my mind whirling. I am SURE he was not using submissive in the way I understand it, in fact, he is probably pretty dead set against women ever submitting to their partners ever....except for sexual role playing, I guess.*Blinks to forget I made this connection about him.*

I made a minor private message to him, without giving too much detail. I wrote how submission does not equal mindless. I think being submissive by choice takes brain power, it takes focus. When I am mindless, it easy for me to indulge in my own wants and desires, not the few seconds more to make the logical choice for my relationship. I was not trying to convert this guy to that thinking, merely just taking the time to open his mind that hey, someone understands submission *somewhat lol* and to clarify that stereotype.

He wrote back, a little mind blown. I am sure I should have kept quiet about his cheeky status, but could not help it.:) Of course he was referring to submission as in: a sexy European nymph who will do whatever he desires. He seemed to understand what I was getting at, somewhat. It was clearly news to him, and he asked where he could find such a relationship in 2013. *Cue me WANTING to tell him about all I have learned,  without mention of domestic discipline. I was careful not to indulge more information, knowing it would take a ton of growing up for him to understand all this, and I know he may very easily never understand the merit. We might as well come from 2 opposite ends of thought on everything, anyway.

  Sometimes friends and associates ask me marriage advice, and of course I don't feel qualified to give advice on something I am still working on. Yet, I have woven lightly some of the the changes we have made in our marriage, and how much happier I am. No mention of DD, no heavy words, just simple terms what motivated me to work on my union with my husband.

Coming full circle, the last couple weeks we have not had time to focus on DD, but I can see that improvements have been made in our marriage. I have been doing my best, things have been pretty smooth, it's almost like we don't need DD to keep going (PROGRESS!.)

Yet I will also add....

I have been feeling a tad needy to get back on board. My behavior could be more motivated, not even with actual discipline, but our united focus.

I do feel a need to be maintained...especially with PMS looming over me like the hormonal cloud of tears it is.

HOH assigned me lines last Sunday. (Long story of crying jag, snappy words, etc.) I should have put my foot down with my daughter invited kids over behind my back who were less than angelic. Instead, I needed his help resolving the situation. It felt like a huge deal to me...the kind of emotional timidity that seems like PMS or pregnancy. So I did say a snappy word to him, and he assigned me lines. I felt like such a jerk but was just trying to communicate that powerlessness I was feeling.  He was telling me exactly what to say to end the problem in seconds, but I refused. He was right, I knew he was right, and the lines helped me feel somewhat cleared of the shame. Ever hear something leave your mouth and wish you could take it back?



  1. Oh yes--I hear lots of things come out of my mouth, but they just won't jump back in...

    1. Oh yes...I would be lost without the slight filter between my mouth and brain, seriously.

  2. hi mixie, excellent post. a great lesson for me. thanks.

    see you,

    1. I look forward to reading your blog, I just added it to my read list.:)