My Overzealous Flower Garden

Whoops, there it went.

Today I found myself at Lowe's getting flowers and garden stuff. Did I tell HOH? No. Do I love to garden? Yes. A little too much.

I am one of these girls who gets super excited and idealistic, partner that with my sentiment for yesterday and it can be huge.

I remember gardening with my Mom, one of the rare good feelings of childhood. She would be peaceful. I would feel the cool earth between my bare feet, the cold water of the hose. She always had a knack to pick out beautiful flowers beyond my gifts.

This is the first spring she has passed on. The flowers called to me, edging me to take on my role and where Mom's had been. I had to get the annuals, the tomatoes, the herbs, the snap dragons....

So many things in my life died last year. With the grief of her, I think most of my old garden went with it. Now is a new, promising time. A testimony of how God has worked during the darkest times for new life and prosperity. See what I mean about me being all Hallmark like?

I should have gotten less. Now, I feel selfish. I reasoned I would invite more folks over to enjoy the garden, now I feel like I should give a few pieces to my neighbors. Seriously. There is a fella in Brazil trying to build one room shacks for the kids there, and here I am, Miss Flowers everywhere.

So, I don't want my over enthusiasm to sour the garden, but I know my HOH will hold me to the "no surprise shopping sprees" rule. I need him to.He already got very firm and HOH like on the text" I want you to have nice things, but we talked about these surprises."

Plus, I am behind on the business I needed to do today, and just gave myself a lot more to care for. Hope I like gardening this much, HOH will have my bum if the plants get neglected!

I have uploaded a photo of the red ones, as I have a feeling something on me will match it soon.

At least my cat is royally enjoying the catnip.:)

Encourage HOH:)

My HOH only recently began this journey with me, in November. I have done the bulk of the research, etc. To have a wife who is suddenly wanting to submit to you and encouraging you to lead must be a pretty big change. It wasn't like I was a huge diva before this, but I did put other people before our marriage.

Since we began DD in Nov:
I am keeping the budget!
Get his consent before making major purchases, time commitments, etc.
Told several opportunities and folks "No" per my HOH's wishes
Told 3 MLM offers No:)
Keeping the home more organized
My attitude has been better(I think)
Our love life is pretty frequent and I am showing interest:)
I don't keep things so bottled up
Not spending lots of time taking calls when HOH is home
My interest in spending time with him is much improved. I greet him at the door when he comes home, truly excited.

Oh, and I very seldom wear those massive t shirts my Dad sent me to bed.:)

I sent HOH a couple links to encourage his HOH side of things since he hasn't read much on DD, etc. I found a couple pieces I liked on mypersonalthinkingspot.blogspot.com. I know being an HOH is his journey, I just want to keep encouraging him on the fantastic job he is doing. I think most DD couples have these learning curves. I really appreciate when he holds me accountable.

I hope he is just as happy as I am with our night and day change.:)

The Paddle Update

So HOH tried the paddle on me, it lives up to it's name. He likes that it is easy to hold, but was very intimidated to try it. LOL, the right tool for the right job!

I figured out that right now I need maintenance about 2 times a week, somewhere on the weekend and somewhere around Wednesday. That seems to be my pattern for keeping calm and collected. Guess we all get the midweek grumps and need a little more encouragement.

:)

Trash the dress

  I just put my trusty brown dress in the giveaway pile. Really, I should throw it away. It's been a good dress. A casual hipster bridesmaid dress in 2007, countless dates and events, and I wore it to my Mom's funeral. Since then, it is tainted to me. I picked it up and put it in the bag, just feeling the heavy relief when I did.

  It's time for me to clear out the clutter I sink myself in. Why do I keep things that clearly make me unhappy? I looked in my closet and most of my clothes are missing buttons, bleach stained, or have tiny tears. I got rid of about 40 percent until I can replenish the clothes with new threads. My bff said she is sending me a box of her gently loved clothes, so this is great timing.

  I need to focus on a little self love at this point, making room for new blessings and experiences. Holding on to the pain is comforting in some ways, but very limiting over all. I think I will focus on this for the next few weeks.:) I love myself much more than I did in the past, and it's time to show that. Better go find my HOH and get some cuddles, I need it after clearing out some old stuff.:)

Sufjan Stevens - The perpetual self, or "What would Saul Alinsky do"

Postman! Give Me My Paddle! HOLY COW!

I was pretty anxious to get the new paddle safe to my house. Intercepting it before my kiddo realizes there is a package, and making sure it does not go to the wrong place(this area is infamous for lost mail!) I can only imagine my paddle ending up in a baseball game with the local troublemakers! (I love most of 'em!) I would so pretend like I didn't know a thing.


So on Wed it said on the tracking site"Delivery Notice Left." Did not see any notice. Checked the mailbox and surrounding area.

Thur:
4pm- Found postal worker. Sweet and nervously asked about package. She gives me another delivery slip and says I can pick it up at post office or have it delivered tomorrow. That would not work, the kiddo is at home and will try to open the box. Hmm.

Moments later-read new delivery note and noticed she wrote it would not be available for pick up until after 8:30 that day. Oh no! Postal worker will read that and not even check for it.

I decide to cram the delivery note in my pocket and just show my I.D.

4:30 p.m. Standing in pick up line, nervously hand I.D. over and explain situation. Get the stink eye. I choose to be sweet and stealth.

The triangle package tube comes to me! I hold it, concealing the importance.

Seconds later- a man comes up behind me and touches the box. In his thick accent he would like that box."You can get it at the front desk," I stammer,"or you can wait and I will bring the empty box to you." Please don't let me unwrap it in front of everyone, good Sir.

He runs to the front desk for new versions of the same box. I leap to the car. What the heck, I open it with my car keys on my lap and tear off the tape. Trying to look around to make sure this is a somewhat private moment.

Holy Cow, this thing is big. Hubby is going to freak. I slap my knee with it, which was pretty silly because it was still in bubble wrap. I eye a tall SUV who has a good view of my little compact, so I decide to slip the paddle in my messenger bag.

*****

Later that night, I show HOH. 

His first words:" Holy cow! Does this thing come with instruction videos?"

He tries to slap his knee and winces.

At least we have something to defend ourselves with in case of an intruder. Wow-za. You gals were not kidding about it being "motivating." I haven't even tried it, and I am motivated. I think even HOH is motivated. LOL. Stay tuned. The paddle is currently sandwiched behind a stack of boxes full of files. You have to work to get it. This is our mission to keep this thing under wraps. Something you can't explain away!

*paddle and photo from www.cane-iac.com.

Yes, we are satisfied with the purchase. It certainly has already brought much excitement and drama to an otherwise quiet week.:)

 

PMS Spanking?

Holy cow, let me tell a bit of truth. When I go into the week before I PMS, it feels awful. I get feelings of stress, worry, angst. It basically takes my inner turmoil and makes it the focus for me. I find myself living in the past, not the present. Dreaming or thinking about family hurt and pain, wanting it to be resolved. Yet I know now is not a good time to try to fix things (don't make big moves when you don't feel at peace.) I also know that the generations of hurt and pain in my family is not all my fault, but it feels like I try to take it on my shoulders.

I remind myself of the classic child whose parents are getting divorced, the child blaming himself. I take this on with the whole family tree. It's not true, so why I do I feel the need to take on that postion?

Really looking forward to my PMS calming down and my mind getting back to the present. Believe me, I am trying. Guess I should really try, as in, not think about it and do something fun. Get out of the house and connect with others.

My HOH has a date for us tomorrow night. Thankfully! He could have spanked me last night, but chose not to. Of course, this morning I think he saw he should have.:) Someone hit the release valve on me!

Anyone else have challenging PMS symptoms? Do you cry or get irritable?

It's not an excuse to act poorly, but I feel it's also hard to feel good or normal during this time.

-Pretty Much Stressed (over what?!) Mixie


I will focus on being thankful the rest of today!:)