Wow, what can I say? I have been working on a 180 degree turnaround of my thoughts and views on things. Honestly, after last year I got into a mode of expecting bad things to happen. In a way that fear laced up my spine all the time, creating a feeling of panic.
I have come to realize that one of my life's lessons is:
Unconditional Love.
For each person in my family or life that walked out, it gave me abandonment issues. It made me walk on eggshells to keep the current folks, and pine for the old ones that are not speaking with me. I realize now I must love who is here and give myself permission to not need everyone's approval.
Somehow in my life, I got this habit of needing to be right with everyone possible to feel right. I have realized that "Normal" is just an viewpoint. What is Normal to someone in the West might be crazy to someone in the far East.
More later, HOH is calling us to the table.:)
I am getting happier by the day letting go of some of these rules I have created for myself regarding my relationships with people.
I went through the same thing a few months ago. It is so odd, but liberating . I also had a new saying come into my head at that time, " Don't let what you perceive others think of you, define who you are" ...often I realized now, I thought they thought xyz of me, and would act towards them based on that. Turns out often I was wrong. Anyway, I believe what you are going through is leading a way to feeling more comfortable in your own skin. And as long as the man on your arm and you on the same page, the rest is just icing on the cake!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your new discoveries. This is the good stuff of ttwd!!!
willie
I agree, Wilma. Being delivered from my people pleasing attitude and freeing myself from perceived expectations has allowed me to enjoy life on a new level.:)
DeleteMany women have to me the twenties is usually a people pleasing time for women, that slowly gets into balance as time goes on. All about trial and error!:)
I want to say I completely agree with you, and also to willies comment above. Definitely GOOD STUFF! This happened to me too. Right about the time I turned forty, I just realized I didn't need to fret about stuff like I'd done in the past and I needed to hone in on my current WONDERFUL relationships and not try to make the iffy ones work. You know what I mean? I had just found contentment with myself and also those around me that I loved the most. They were my true north and I needed to learn nothing else mattered. I think you could call this new thing maturity. Finally.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's what you found too. :) whatever it is I'm very HAPPY for you!
Hugs
M.
Maryanne,
DeleteYour thoughts are so helpful! I was pining so much for the dead things in my life there was little room to truly enjoy my current support system. I find that I am drawing more people to me as my attitude has become more accepting of myself.:) Thank you!