tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542254984092146646.post8020257817351247414..comments2014-01-04T23:04:31.464-08:00Comments on Laughing At Myself: Surrendering to Love is Deep Business.Mixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17074485599675377693noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542254984092146646.post-61886253491472149122013-03-27T19:12:05.245-07:002013-03-27T19:12:05.245-07:00Thank you, George!
I appreciate the kind words an...Thank you, George!<br /><br />I appreciate the kind words and insightful thoughts. I really love that quote from your pastor. It amazes me how God worked out that I would meet my husband, that is a miracle in itself. I moved out from my Mom's at 15, had horrific abuse and situations in my life. I just decided to leave and trust God. Long story short, I married a man with a very stable family, he never skipped school, and most of his childhood stories are wonderful. He was an atheist when I met him, and he accepted Christ in 2006. Today he is a man on fire for God, and I marvel at that. I kept working on him, and I knew God would work a way.:) There are answers to prayers I get that seem years in the making.<br /><br />I have decided to keep a faith diary (like a prayer journal) I also have another notebook to record the good things I notice in each day (the blessings/and how I bless.) It helps to look back and see how much God does each day!<br /><br />Last week, I got a good taste of a feeling of fear with no evidence. Things are going pretty well, but I felt fearful and worried. I strongly feel it was spiritual warfare to get me to backslide and slow done. Keep on keeping on each day! "No eye has seen, nor ear has heard, what God has prepared for those who trust in Him..."Mixiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17074485599675377693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542254984092146646.post-74414103821455673062013-03-27T18:49:15.244-07:002013-03-27T18:49:15.244-07:00I agree Es May! You know the feelings of needing t...I agree Es May! You know the feelings of needing to manage situations to feel safe. I know that the things I have tried to manage, I could not manage-trying to take on and manage everyone's thoughts on me. I realize this was a deep wound for love. Learning to have intimacy in my relationship with God, and learning to enJOY intimacy with my husband has been surrender. I think I have had trouble feeling anyone ever really loved me, but I know that is not true! When it is finally safe to accept love, it takes awhile to get that it is for real.:) More later. Love!Mixiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17074485599675377693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542254984092146646.post-61841374344362200952013-03-26T18:22:09.318-07:002013-03-26T18:22:09.318-07:00Mixie,
Interesting that you speak of fear. I just...Mixie,<br /><br />Interesting that you speak of fear. I just finished reading a couple of books about "The Culture of Fear" that we live in and why we are so afraid. Some fears are real and others irrational, but each genuine. <br /><br />Trusting God is not always easy, but in doing so you cannot go wrong. My paster liked to say "God loves each of us as if He had no other to love, yet He loves us all the same." I have found comfort and peace in that thought.<br /><br />You are not alone. I too find it hard to "let go and let God" (another of my pasters favorite things to say) because I still catch myself trying to "explain" to God why what I am asking for is the best idea rather than simply trust that He will provide what is best....as if He didn't know, right. Ha! <br /><br />I am so sorry to hear that your childhood was fearful. It can take a long time to overcome those negative experiences, but I wlll pray that with God's help you will find the peace that surpasses all understanding. Have a blessed day dear friend.<br /><br />George georgekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04808346980888237908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542254984092146646.post-39971956834027877932013-03-26T12:35:52.535-07:002013-03-26T12:35:52.535-07:00Oh Mixie, my heart just breaks for you, and I thin...Oh Mixie, my heart just breaks for you, and I think part of it is in a selfish way. My past was the same, so many bad things happened. My pastor actually told me he thought I had PTSD. I was always on alert, my discernment fine tuned to be able to tell you on the second of meeting someone if they were dangerous or not. When my pastor told me that when I learned to let go, and let others protect me, I wouldn't need that discernment, and it would eventually go away. I didn't believe him, didn't want to believe him. Isn't keeping on guard good? Isn't reading people so closely a great trait to have? I'm here to say two years later that he was right. I have allowed my friends to step up for me when I need it, I've allowed my husband to take over, and I've allowed God more room to move. It was only a month or so ago that I realized I wasn't doing it anymore. I don't know if I can give you any advice, but for me, it was sometimes just telling myself I didn't need to handle such and such a situation, and letting someone else do it for me. {{{HUGS}}} I will be praying for you, I know how hard it can be to let go, to trust, but I pray it happens. For me it started small. Just asking my husband to check the doors at night, and then FORCING myself not to go double check. And I worked from there. I would love to hear more of your journey as you process through. Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.com